My dad would have been 59 years old this year. I still miss him very much. Our family is still not complete without him. He will be gone for almost 2 years, but it feel like an eternity without him. We are surrounded by his things and haunted by his occasional smell from belongings he left behind. His smile and laughter fresh in our minds and generosity left in our hearts are constant reminders of how much we miss him. His things still lay in his room as he left them and the door remains closed so I can close my eyes and pretend he is still here. I never realized what a huge gaping hole he would leave in our lives, until he was gone. My thoughts of him getting old always consisted of him playing with his great grandchildren-bouncing on his lap. I pictured him with white hair and a cane, because i use to tease him about being "over the hill" when i was young. I also pictured myself prepared for his passing, as i'd be "over the hill" and taking care of him. Little did i know that he was going to be young, strong, and so full of life when he passed. I foolishly thought i had more time. So many things i wish i could have told him. So many things i wish i would have taken the time to know about him. All I'm left with is the memories that I have and this gaping hole.
However my dad was never without a sense of humor.... through some of his belongings we found out how child-like my dad was. He collected gun belts, boots, cowboy hats, wranglers, and a stockpile of western books. He collected caps, empty pepsi bottles, nfl cowboy parifialia, and tools-ohhh so many tools. He also left a grandchild who not only taken on so many of his physical traits but acts like a mirror image of him sometimes. That stubborn "i'm always right" arguement and smirk -when he is :)-. That big and sentimental heart you don't expect from someone that big. I think his grandaughter has that loving and giving trait like no other.
We as a family miss and love my dad... hope to see you soon dad...
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